The Tsar Bomba: Soviets Take Blowing Shit Up to The Next Level

It's about time for another token Soviet post! These are easily my favorite, because deep down inside, socialist dictatorships and their enormous... engineering projects really turn me on. Also, massive irradiating life-ending-fallout-causing-internal-liquification atomic explosions.

Voila! The Tsar Bomba. 24.5 megatons of dick-waving strategic weaponry.


This was half of its full yield - 50 MT. For comparison purposes, please refer to the following image that illustrates the relative levels of "fucked:"


The Soviets apparently thought this was an "impractically powerful weapon." WTF? Since when was rational thought supposed to enter this equation? You're building a GIANT GODDAMN BOMB OF DEATH. You're saying it kills too good?

The USSR deserved to collapse for their lack of Truck Nutz. If only they had used the Tsar Bomba to obliterate each and every one of their 1) enemies 2) allies 3) Georgian separatists, they could have seized world power and begun repopulating the earth with the reanimated and cloned corpses of robo-Stalin.

Sigh. I suppose my dream of a ruthless robotic Soviet dicatorship future will have to be shelved, again. Another day!