SUBMERSIBLEBOATTRUCKS!

Remember that time waaay back in the year 2000 when you were cruising around in your Arleigh Burke-class Aegis-equipped guided missile destroyer warship/pleasure cruiser and some ASSHOLE ruined your naked sunbathing/boat orgy by blowing a big freakin' hole in the side of your boat with a bunch of explosives in a blow-up raft with an outboard motor? That was a buzzkill if I've ever seen one.

So, there you were-- stuck with this huge 154 meter weapon of war/Yacht with a giant 12 meter hole in its side. Worse yet, you're hanging out on the Arabian peninsula, and you really weren't planning stepping foot on land getting tangled up with the natives, so there's no way in hell you're going to ask them to help you fix your big symbol of American military dominance on the high seas/picnic skiff.

Thank GOD for Semi-Submersible Heavy Lifters!

The M/V Blue Marlin is a 217 m long, 42 m wide vessel capable of transporting oversized cargo weighing up to 30,000 tons. According to the wiki gods: "Its ballast tanks can be flooded to lower the well deck below the water's surface, allowing oil platforms, other vessels, or other floating cargo to be moved into position for loading. The tanks are then pumped out, and the well deck rises to shoulder the load. To balance the cargo, the various tanks can be pumped unevenly."

TRANSLATION: "Throw that shit on the truck and let's the the fuck outtta here."

Semi submersible heavy lifters are the only vessels capable of carrying objects with huge badass names THUNDERHORSE 2 (below).

And lest you be fooled, the Blue Marlin is not the largest of these aquatic beasts. That honor goes to the Mighty Servant(s) I, II, and III.

But (whoddathunkit?!) the MSII sunk in 1999 in Indonesia after running into "single isolated pinnacle of granite directly on the ship's course." (Editor's Note: Please, someone come up with something witty about this). Subsequently, the MSIII sunk off of Angola in 2006. The MSII was declared a total loss and was sold for scrap in 2000, but the MSIII was salvaged in 2007 and is expected to return to service by the end of this year.

Oil and natural gas industries rejoice!